Afraid of being judged? What actually happens when you stop hiding & start showing up

Nikki Cross
Feb 4
3 min read

If you’ve been holding yourself back because you’re worried about being judged, misunderstood, or criticised, I know this will land.

In Episode 324 of my podcast (the Inner Work Conversation), I share what actually happens when you start showing up more visibly and authentically in your life and business ...and how to handle people’s opinions in real time.

This is a short, honest listen about fear of judgment, emotional exposure, and why hiding costs more than being seen.

If you’ve ever thought:

“...who am I to say this?”

“...what will people think?” or

“...maybe I’ll just tone it down” ...this one’s for you. Here's a summary:

Fear of being judged isn't the problem...

It’s not visibility that scares us. It's not accurate that you're "scared of showing or speaking up" ...It’s exposure.

When you put yourself out there - online, in meetings, in business - you give people permission to have opinions...

Some will be kind.

Some will be awkward or sarcastic.

And some will misunderstand you completely.

...That’s the real edge you're feeling.

In this episode, I talk through how I noticed myself wanting to downplay my effort, minimise my progress, and make myself smaller… all because of a throwaway comment on a dog walk.

And I want you to have the same realisation that I did:

You're not THAT important (and that's a GOOD thing...)

You are 100% of your own day.

You are about 0.001% of someone else’s.

Yet we let that tiny slice of feedback shape:

how visible we allow ourselves to be
how confidently we speak
what we post (or don’t)
whether we go after what we actually want

People make a passing comment ...and then move on with their lives.

We replay it in our heads. WE give it air time.

That’s what keeps us stuck. So where I landed was...

Not everyone has to "get" you (how to handle the fear of being judged)

Maybe your parents were wrong. Perhaps they're not "just jealous".

...Sometimes people aren’t jealous.

...Maybe they’re not triggered by you.

Perhaps they just don’t get you. And that's ok.

This episode is about learning to:

Stop wasting energy explaining your choices,

Stop defending your priorities,

Stop trying to be perceived “correctly”.

You don’t need to be understood by everyone.

You need to be aligned with yourself.

Authenticity in business ≠ performative confidence.

Being "authentic" doesn’t mean being unaffected. It means:

letting yourself be seen before everything feels polished
staying in the work when opinions show up
expanding your emotional tolerance for discomfort
choosing not to retreat when you feel exposed

I talk openly about how I used to make other people the villain and myself the victim ...and how learning to self-coach instead has changed everything.

This is what real personal development looks like.

Not pretty. Not linear. But bloody powerful.

LISTEN NOW

Oh and one last thing before you listen:

Your words matter too...

One of the most important reminders from this episode:

You don’t know what someone else is carrying.

That compliment you didn’t give.

That encouragement you kept in your head.

That “like” you scrolled past...

It might be the thing that keeps someone going.

You get to choose what kind of moment you are in someone else’s day.

If this blog has struck a chord ...Episode 324 is me walking you through all of this in real time.

The self-doubt, the exposure, the growth, and the choice not to hide.

It’s honest, practical and it’ll help you stop letting other people’s opinions run your life.

LISTEN TO THE EPISODE 324 NOW

This podcast episode has practical takeaways like...

Dealing with fear of being judged
How to stop caring what people think
Practical authentic visibility tips

Quotes from episode 324:

“We all have a choice. We can tiptoe through life and business hoping to be perceived correctly… or accept that perception is out of our control and lead from what actually matters to us.” (09:03 mins)

“Sometimes people don’t get you. They don’t understand your choices or priorities ...and that’s okay. You don’t have to waste your energy trying to convince them.” (10:05 mins)

“Authentic visibility isn’t about just feeling more confident. It’s about expanding your emotional tolerance for discomfort so you stop playing small." (12:47 mins)