Stop making decisions when you're emotionally rattled (do THIS instead)
- Nikki Cross
- Feb 18
- 3 min read
If you’ve been questioning everything lately - your business, career, your money, your direction - because you feel overwhelmed, uncertain, or emotionally rattled… It's time to learn how to take care of that.
In Episode 326 of my podcast (The Inner Work Conversation), I talk about something I see constantly ...in myself and in the people I work with:
Trying to action away uncomfortable feelings.
This is a short, honest listen about emotional dysregulation, fear-based decisions, and how to stop making big moves just to escape how you feel.
If you’ve ever thought:
“…I need to fix this NOW" (when it wasn't urgent yesterday)
“…I can’t cope with this feeling. I must DO something.”
…this one’s for you. Here's a summary:
Stop trying to 'action' your way out of feeling.
Here’s what usually happens:
You feel something uncomfortable...
...Fear
....Pressure
...Uncertainty
...Overwhelm.
And almost immediately, your system goes: I need to do something. NOW.
So you start:
...comparing your offers / cv / website etc.
...re-doing your strategy for the 11th time
...questioning your direction, future, LIFE.
You want to reshuffle. Reorganise. Make big decisions. Burn things down.
...Not from clarity.
...From dysregulation. From trying to escape how you feel.
As I say in this episode: None of this action comes from strategy.
It normally comes from trying to escape your inner experience.
That’s the real pattern.
Fear based decisions FEEL different
In the episode, I explain how fear-based decisions usually feel:
Urgent, mentally loud, heavy, rushed, pressured
They come with thoughts like:
“I just need to fix / figure this out NOW or ...{insert catastrophic circumstance}"
That’s not intuition. That’s your nervous system in distress.
One of the biggest reminders I share: Feeling unsafe does not mean something needs to be fixed (right now).
Grounded decisions don't come from panic
Grounded decisions feel quieter.
They don’t arrive with chaos.
They come after you’ve allowed yourself to feel what you’re feeling instead of trying to action it away.
Your inner dialogue starts to sound more like:
“I don’t need to solve this today.”
“I’ve handled hard things before.”
“I don’t need to dismantle everything right now.”
Getting yourself TO that place? ...That’s self-leadership.
Let's create a new supportive rule...
Here’s the rule I now live by: I act when I’m calm.
I don’t make big decisions when I feel overwhelmed, scared, or desperate for certainty.
Because the thing you’re obsessing over is rarely the real problem.
Usually, it’s how you feel that needs tending to ...not the external situation.
This episode is about learning to...
Stay with uncomfortable emotions instead of reacting
Spot fear-based decision making in real time
Stop outsourcing your feelings to action
Build emotional tolerance
Lead yourself when things feel uncertain
...In a practical, real-life way.
Listening to this episode MIGHT just be the thing that stops you having to clear up the mess of a big decision made from dysregulation.
Quotes from episode 326:
“Please stop trying to action away your inner experience. Because when you do that, you are not making good decisions on behalf of yourself.” (05:21 mins)
“The situation hasn’t changed. It’s just suddenly urgent because now I’m uncomfortable - and my nervous system wants out.” (08:19 mins)
“I've learnt to recognise when I'm in that place because it feels like I’m scratching around to find a decision, not receiving one - forcing one.” (07:56 mins)
“Although it feels like the end of the world if I don't fix it / figure it out RIGHT NOW, I've learnt I actually don’t need to solve this today. I’ve handled hard things before. I don’t need to dismantle everything right now.”(10:29 mins)
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